We Are Penn State...

Old Main

I graduated from Penn State a long time ago. I was a student there in the Franco Harris/Jack Ham/Lydell Mitchell era and, though I couldn't afford to go to a lot of football games, I loved it when I did. I saw Joe Paterno around campus sometimes and, though he had not at that time attained the legendary stature he did later, we were all in awe of him. I received a great education at Penn State that has served me well throughout the decades of my life since leaving Penn State. I loved Penn State and it has figured in much of my writing. I would not be who I am without Penn State.

It is like a knife in the gut to listen to the news reports about the “Penn State scandal” and to see news reporters I've always appreciated, like Michael Isikoff, standing in front of Old Main to report news that is utterly heartbreaking. One horrible, awful, dreadful monster who did unimaginable things to innocent children who never deserved to know the things that animal taught them has created this situation. He, and the people who enabled him whether knowingly or unknowingly, have created incredible pain for hundreds of thousands of people like me who love Penn State and have always been proud to write “Pennsylvania State University” on applications next to “College Graduated From:”. I'm so frustrated and angry I can'teven gain perspective on this awful situation.

First of all, the situation with Joe Paterno just boggles my mind. On the one hand I think “he should have done more” and yet, as someone who worked in the mental health field for years I know that anyone who has done the work I have – or who has taught or who has been in any situation where the welfare of children is a consideration – is equally vulnerable to having someone come to us, years after the fact, and say those words “you should have done more.” I am making no excuses for Joe Pa because I have no idea how much he actually knew. He obviously did not know who the child was because the child from that particular incident has still not been identified. And he did the reporting he was required to do and trusted those people to do their jobs, which they didn't. Maybe he should have done more. I don't know.

Visual Arts Building

As for the campus police and the local police and the other Penn State officials or employees involved they are all guilty of not doing enough, not doing the right thing, not stopping this monster from preying on innocent children. I know there are reasons for that – to protect the reputation of the institution, fear of retaliation, fear for their jobs, ignorance of the nature of child molesters, the inability to believe that such monstrous acts are possible. But reasons are not excuses.

And then there is the fact that, while football is a huge part of Penn State to so many people, the young men playing football there now are completely innocent of wrong-doing. They bear the stigma of having been a part of a program that is now overwhelmed by scandal and yet they do not deserve one tiny bit of it.

And I think of the hundreds of thousands of teachers and students who never had any connection to the football program other than hearing about it and maybe watching a game or two. I remember my own years there and football was such a tiny part of the experience. I think of my endless hours spent in the Visual Arts Building where I took drawing and painting classes. I remember the evenings that I went there for a Life Drawing Class or just to paint and there would be dozens of other fellow art students around, listening to music, talking, working on projects. I think of one of my favorite places on campus, the Earth and Mineral Sciences Museum where I would sit for hours drawing fascinating rock formations and crystals. I remember concerts on Old Main's lawn and the years I spent at Behrend in Erie where I first got involved in theater and learned to act. I remember the summer I got to take a special series of workshops with women artists where I was privileged to classes with the likes of Alice Neel, Lee Krasner and Ellen “LaMaMa” Stewart – one of the most remarkable women I've ever met. These experiences shaped me and made me who I am as a designer and a writer and a person.

Alice Neel

I am so sad about the stories coming out of my college – just as I have been so sad about the stories coming out of my Catholic Church. I am angry that the atrocities done by the very few, and covered up by a few more, have tainted the hundreds of thousands whose lives have been transformed by the wonderful parts of those institutions. It is so wrong that a small percentage of evil can harm the huge percentage of good. But I am Penn State and always will be.

Thanks for reading.