Update: Fare Thee Well, Uncle Tommy, Rest In Peace

Update: I posted this three weeks ago about the passing of my Uncle Tommy Valentine. In it I said that I didn't know what his wife, my Aunt Mary Rita, would do without him. Aunt Mary Rita died yesterday. I remember she once told me that she hoped he would go before her because she didn't think he could bear to lose her. She was right. She waited for him to pass and then she went too. I am sorry they are gone from the earth but they both lived good, long lives -- most of them spent loving each other. I am glad they are together, as they always were. Rest in peace, dear Uncle Tommy and Aunt Mary Rita, fare thee well.

Jack, Uncle Tom & Me

When I was little we lived on Chestnut Street in St. Marys, Pennsylvania in a big brick house with a huge porch and white pillars. The house had been built by my Grandfather Valentine. We – my Mom and Dad and brothers – lived upstairs and my grandmother Valentine and Uncle Tommy lived downstairs. Uncle Tommy was a very important part of my childhood. I have as many memories of him from the first six or seven years of my life as I have of anyone.

Uncle Tommy a Loooong Time Ago!

Uncle Tommy was a prolific gardener. Many of my earliest memories of being in the yard with Uncle Tom while he worked on his garden and told me about the plants and flowers and vegetables he was planting. I remember him teaching me how to eat rhubarb stalks fresh from the garden. I thought they were terribly sour so he went in the house and got me a little cup of sugar to dunk them in. He also taught me how to eat the currants that grew so prolifically along the alleyway that ran behind the house. Lay on your back and pick the biggest, juciest, warmest one. Place it on your tongue and press it to the roof of your mouth until it pops and fills your mouth with the most delicious juices.

Uncle Tommy & Aunt Mary Rita

He gardened up until the last few years of his life. When it got to the point where there was only he and Aunt Mary Rita in the house he gardened anyway and filled cardboard boxes with his produce and sat them on the steps in front of his house with a sign that said “Free Help Yourself”. Uncle Tom and Aunt Mary Rita married when they were in their forties and they were the loves of each others' lives. I used to love to be around them because they constantly complimented each other. Uncle Tom would say, “You should taste the chili sauce your Aunt Mary Rita made!” And she would say, “I couldn't have made it without the tomatoes your Uncle Tommy grew.” They were a real love story. I can't imagine how she will manage without him.

Uncle Tommy's House at Christmas

Uncle Tommy was famous for his Christmas trees. They were always just spectacular. He had ornaments that went back to his own childhood. My favorite was a German glass bugle in pink and gold. Every time I was in St. Marys for Christmas I'd go visit and Uncle Tom would say, “Can you find your ornament?” And I would. Then he'd take a picture of me with him and Aunt Mary Rita in front of the Christmas tree.

Playing cards at Uncle Gus's Camp

They loved to play cards! Some of my fondest memories are of being at Uncle Gus's camp with them and the never ending card games that went on. He was always full of stories too. He had been a Prisoner of War in germany during WW II and for many years he wouldn't talk about it but then later on he did start telling me stories about his experiences there. Some were hard to listen to.

He was also an avid photographer and many of my favorite photos of our family are ones he took. When the family cookbook was published a couple years ago he was so happy with it. He called me and wanted to know how to get more of them so he could give them to people.

So Uncle Tommy passed away yesterday. The funeral is tomorrow. I am so sorry that he had to go but he lived a long, rich life. I keep thinking about the last time I saw him sitting on the sofa in his little sitting room under the huge photograph of himself in the Vatican reaching out toward the Pope who touched his hand. He was a devout Catholic and was so proud of that picture. I'll miss you, Uncle Tommy, you were an important part of my life. Fare thee well.

Thanks for reading.