Parlez Moi Blog
Thoughts on writing, art, books, design, knitting, textiles, & life in America's oldest seaport. From www.Valentine-Design.com.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Bobblehead Joe Beimel
Bobblehead. Naturally I went looking for it online and that's when I came across this (left) --- the Bobblehead for left-handed pitcher Joe Beimel, formerly of the Pirates, Twins, Dodgers and now of the Washington Nationals. He is also, formerly, my nephew-in-law.
It's sort of a strange thing to see someone you actually know as a Bobblehead. In my family there are more than a few people who would find that entirely appropriate because of the pain of the break-up when he and our darling niece Emily ended their marriage. It's a shame and it's hard for their kids Drew and Claire but Emily has moved on, found a nice guy. I got the announcement for their wedding last week.
Truth is I always liked Joe. He was a nice young man. He and my nephew Mark Valentine were buddies in high school and it was Mark who, at Joe's request, introduced him to Emily. Mark told me it wasn't easy when the cutest girl in town also happened to be your cousin. Readers here know Emily (right) as the inspiration for, and model of, Emily's Shawl in my Mermaid
Shawl book.
So, anyway, while I was online I looked at some of the message boards where Joe was being discussed. There is, apparently, something of a cult following thanks to series of YouTube videos by an outrageously devoted fan troyfromwestvirginia. I watched 2 of them.... they were ... well, weird.
Reading the message boards was even stranger. People were discussing his marriage and the break-up, speculating about his relationship with Emily and about the woman he left her for.... I find it somewhat of a revelation that fans take that sort of thing so cavalierly. I guess it is a sign of the times but, as I was reading it, I kept thinking that these are people I know and have feelings for that they are talking about. This is Joe who always called me “Aunt Kathy” and gave me a hug hello and goodbye whenever we saw each other. This is Joe who told me about his dreams for the future one afternoon while we sat at my sister Anne's kitchen table teaching his little boy Drew how to make Lite-Brite pictures.
And even more this is Emily who I have loved since she was a little girl learning to make Lite-Brite pictures. Emily who told me that she loved Joe with all her heart and would do anything to make him happy. Emily who worked as a nurse to support them while Joe was schlepping around with the farm teams pursuing his dream but making no money. This is Emily who hauled their two children around from airport to airport so they could be with their father while he was working his way through the minors, trying to get the big break.
And the big break came and everything was great for while but Joe is far from the first guy to become successful and let that all go to his head. Suddenly he is sort of famous, suddenly he is the object of endless attention --- including attention from women. Women who don't give a damn about the wife and the children and the sacrifices that went in to helping him to get where he is so they could take notice of him.
The truth is, I only know one side of the story. I felt terrible when Emily started telling what was going on. I liked Joe, I hoped he would be a better person. I hoped he wouldn't succumb to the allures that come with fame and money.
I suppose it will all work out. Emily is getting married again, the kids see their father. Joe is with a new team --- I know nothing about and care less about the “girlfriend”. And, hey, Joe has his own Bobblehead. How much more famous can you get?
Thanks for reading.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
The Picton Castle Sails Into Gloucester
Our good buddy Jay Albert caught the whole thing on camera: Spectacular Welcome

I was out at the art association when she sailed in so I only got to see the gorgeous ship once she started taking down her sails but I have my own Picton Castle story. It was a few years ago and Mark and I were in Halibut Point one night sitting at the bar talking when 2 guys with noticeable Canadian accents started chatting us up. They were two of the most hilarious people I'd ever met and when they found out that Mark had been a lobsterman the stories began to be swapped. It turned out they were both senior crew members of the Picton Castle. I wish I could remember their names but it was that sort of night. One was a tall, good-looking guy with a dark beard and the other was a stocky sailor type who hadthe sort of face one gets from spending your life at sea. They had come in to Halibut Point to chase their junior crew back to the boat but then saw no reason to leave.
It was a great time listening to tales of this port or that, weather anomalies, strange encounters, and ll the sorts of things mariners love to go on about. They ended by inviting us down to the ship next day for a tour which we took them up on. Mark gave them a copy of his book. As I watched the gorgeous ship sail in to port yesterday I couldn't help but wonder if his book was still on board somewhere.
These ships are just plain gorgeous. That's all I can say. And the people who love them and keep them sailing deserve great thanks for their commitment becuse the world would be a poorer place without them. Go see it while it is still in port.
Thanks for reading.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Bonfire on Lanesville Web Cam
Last year's bonfire:
If you can't be in Lanesville for the 4th of July Parade and Bonfire here's the next best thing: Lanesville Web Cam
Photos by Jim Barber of JimBMedia.com
What's Goin' On!
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Friday, July 03, 2009
Can you bake a cherry pie?
Yesterday, between downpours, I stopped at Farmer John's on Railroad Ave and bought a couple bags of Bing Cherries. These are the most enormous and delicious cherries I've had in ages. I had gotten a few bags of their Rainier Cherries last week and thought they were the best ever but these big, fat, juicy red ones are even better. So I started thinking about cherry pie and cherry crisp. If you have never made a cherry pie or a cherry crisp with real cherries you are in for a treat. The difference between canned cherries and real cherries is incredible.

Cherry Crisp:
To make a cherry crisp you will need about 2 to 2-1/2 lbs. of fresh cherries. Wash them, remove stems, and remove the pits with a pitter. Cut half of the cherries in half and leave the others whole. Grate the rind of one lemon over them and sprinkle with a cup of sugar and let them sit for an hour.
Meanwhile crumble together 1-1/2 cups raw oats, 1/2 cup brown sugar, and 1 stick of butter. If you like you can add 1/2 cup of pecan bits. This should be a loose, sticky but crumbly mixture.
Now add 1/4 cup cornstarch to the cherries and mix well. Place in an oven-proof casserole dish. Crumble the oat mixture on top and pat lightly. It should be loose but firm. Place in a 350 degree oven for 20-25 minutes until the top is golden brown and the cherries are bubbling up through the crust. Remove, let cool and serve with ice cream or whipped cream.
Yum, yum, yum!
Shut Up, Mark Sanford
I've been avoiding talking about politics lately but this is just too good not to pass on....
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Shut Up, Mark Sanford | ||||
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Thursday, July 02, 2009
Loss & Anger: “Emotionally Befuddled”
One of the things she said in her letter is, “I feel like I am emotionally befuddled. Everyone keeps telling me how I should be feeling, that I shouldn't be taking this so hard, but I feel so bereft.” This is a thing I know well. Bereft is the perfect word.
In the last few years I've lost my brother, my father, and three men I loved dearly, two of whom had been lovers. That's in addition to a couple of other friends. That's a lot of loss in a short period of time and the fact that they were all big, strong men who had special places in my heart makes it all the more difficult because there is an accompanying sense of stupification. How can this happen? How can so many men who were so much a part of my identity be gone in a few short years? I'll tell you, it has genuinely impacted my ability to relate to men. I know this is temporary but right now I live with an unreasonable fear that if I let a man get close something terrible will happen to him.
I've written before about my amazement at the denial around grief that some people have demonstrated --- everything from evaluating my relationship, thus attempting to trivialize my feelings, to assigning a timeline to the grieving. This is something I have learned not to take personally. It is a symptom of our feel-good culture that seems to be getting worse as we become more alienated and more accustomed to the concept of using “happy pills” to dispel the normal emotional processes that are hardwired into our physiology.
Not long ago I read a study about the link between traumatic loss and cancer. Naturally there are many reasons that people develop cancer but one of the things the study said was that the incidence of certain types of cancer were much higher a few years after traumatic loss among people who did not go through the normal (Kubler-Ross) stages of grief. The primary one of these being anger.
We're a society that has a horror of anger and yet we are one of the angriest cultures on earth (evidenced by the high rate of violence in our society). We constantly both internalize and misdirect anger. We avoid the anger of life's normal losses and then take it out on other people in road rage, and cyber-bullying and stalking and abuse. And we manifest it in our bodies which creates more anger which we, again take out on others. We do all of this to avoid the normal, natural, understandable pain that comes from disappointment, loss, hurt.
There is a thing I have learned over the last several years and if my losses serve any good purpose I hope it is this: Nobody can tell you how you should feel. Nobody has that right. They will try --- believe me they will try but, as with so much of life, their behavior toward you says far more about themselves than about anything else.
This is the truth: Whenever you let yourself love, you run the risk of experiencing pain. That is normal and part of the deal. And it is a beautiful part of the deal in some ways. The poet W.S. Merwin says, "There are no words to adequately convey grief just as there are no words to adequately convey love.". But this is what I've come to believe, the blessing on the other side of great grief, is that you once felt great love. This is something the unloving heart will never understand. But it is a blessing however hard learned. It's something I hope my correspondent will some day experience. And something I remind myself of when the grief surges. Great grief says this, “you loved greatly.”
Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Ristras & the Texas Farmer's Market
Bonnie had been a member of a Farmer's Market Co-op that had been active for years. The way it worked was this: ten families each put in $20 every other week. Volunteers took turns taking the $200 to a huge (I mean ENORMOUS) farmer's market that was held on Airline Drive in Houston every Saturday morning. You purchased $200 worth of produce brought it back to the pickup point which was a church parking lot in Katy, divided it into 10 piles and each member of the co-op came with their own basket, picked up the goodies, and paid their $20 toward the next biweekly haul.
Bonnie and I split our share because neither of us could use that amount of produce in 2 weeks. It was a great way to get a tremendous amount of very fresh, high quality produce at an average of $5 a week. But the best part, in my opinion, was when we got to do the shopping! I loved that Farmer's Market!
We had certain staples we always bought: a case of lettuce, 50 lbs. of potatoes, onions, tomatoes, and at least three fruits but what a selection we had to choose from. We soon discovered which vendors would give us the best prices, which had the best quality, which to avoid. Sometimes when produce was cheap and everyone was eager to sell we'd have enough leftover to indulge in extra treats to share. It was always great.
Most of the farmers came up from the Rio Grande Valley and many only spoke Spanish but both Bonnie and I had enough high school Spanish that we muddled through. The Farmer's Market was where I learned to haggle. There was one vendor we called The Plum Man who only had plums, usually a few varieties and they were the sweetest, juiciest plums in the world. We once got a bushel basket for $3 and there were so many plums, even divided by ten, that I ate plums every day for two weeks. There was a similar occasion with figs, delicious little green figs that were bright pink on the inside and sweet as candy.
Of course when others shopped we never knew what we were going to get. A huge pile of okra meant Bonnie could have all the okra she wanted because I never did learn to like the stuff.
But the best part of our trips, in my opinion, was the Pepper Man. He was a small, weather-beaten, laughing fellow who arrived in a dilapidated pickup truck FILLED with peppers, dozens and dozens of varieties. Some too hot to even consider, but many that were mild, sweet and absolutely delicious. He would set up in his usual spot with dozens of baskets of different kinds of peppers and then hang strings of ristras all around his stand. His wife came with him and she sat on a blanket, surrounded by baskets of peppers, garlic and herbs, and make these beautiful ristras which they sold for a pittance. I always bought one for myself whenever I went to shop.
Ristras are beautiful things. In Mexican culture they are a symbol of welcome. Much like old New Englanders placed a pineapple on their doorstep as a welcome to visitors, so Mexican households would hang a ristra to invite people in. I never knew what kind of peppers I would get and sometimes the Pepper Man would point to one and shake his head no, “Fuego!” he'd say, “fire.” Once I put one of the Fuego peppers in a huge pot of chili I was making thinking one little pepper the size of my thumb couldn't make that much difference.... I was wrong.
I never left that Farmer's Market without a basket of purchases of my own in addition to our Co-op haul. A bouquet of fresh cilantro because I love the smell, a bag of tiny sweet limes, avocados and ristras for my door. I suppose they won't have ristras at the Farmer's Market on Harbor Loop but there will be other wonderful things. See you there on Thursday.
Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Stupidity: The Documentary
I stumbled upon this documentary recently and,despite all the negative reviews, I watched it anyway. I'm glad that I did. The movie has a lot of flaws, it spends too much time being what it is railing against. But the interviews with people like Bill Maher and Noam Chomsky make it a worthwhile use of time.
For a long time I've suspected that I do not have a sense of humor. I just don't find dumb to be funny. There are so many movies around that are just utterly ridiculous that I started suspecting there was something wrong with me --- that my sense of humor is seriously flawed. But I realized that I do laugh at a lot of things, just not stupid stuff. Now I know why.
Stupidity, according to the documentary, is “in”. People give a lot of justifications for that and those alone are fascinating. People say they act stupid because they don't want other people to think they are “too smart” or “too arrogant”. Leaving aside the codependence evidenced by these comments it is difficult to imagine that taking pride in being intelligent or educated would be perceived as a negative. Another oft-repeated comment was that they just don't want to have to think, they want to be entertained and have fun and that anything that challenges the mind is too much work.
There is a fair amount of time spent in the film exploring the origins of words like “idiot”, “moron”, “imbecile”, etc. Because I studied psychology back in the days when those were not obsolete terms I was aware of their origins in the classification of mental retardation --- a long, long time ago. But the filmmakers were quick to point out that when we talk about stupidity today, we re not talking about those people who are genuinely intellectually challenged. It would be cruel and unfair to call a person with limited intellectual capacities stupid.
Rather, the new definition of stupid applies to people who act stupid. People who are not intellectually limited, who may be educated, who certainly have the ability to function intelligently but make the choice to act stupid. In other words, if you act stupid, you are stupid. You are also probably popular --- at least with other stupid people.
The question is, why? One of the most interesting observations comes from environmentalist David Suzuki. He says that we need look no further than the way many people talk about calls to protect the environment and about global warming. Acting conservatively and environmentally should be a natural, responsible choice. Whether global warming is a real threat or not, nothing is to be lost by living an environmentally-conscious life and much is to be gained. Yet many people flaunt their disregard for those ideas in both their talk and practices. Why?
Suzuki says that it is a strange quirk of human psychology that we tend to rebel hardest against what we fear most. The more threatened we feel by something, the more we can tend to behave in rebellion to it. It is denial, plain and simple. Makes sense to me.
I have been reading Bruce Fein's Constitutional Peril in which he builds a frightening case for how, through foolishness and neglect, Americans are allowing the government (this was written during the previous administration) to erode the very principles on which our country is founded. In it he makes the observation that many people will believe and defend a lie rather than consider the fact that those in charge may be liars. The idea that a leader is a bad guy is something so scary to many people that they can't even let themselves consider its possibility.
We are so mired in sensationalism. Over the last couple of days I have been flabbergasted by the news coverage of Michael Jackson's death. All I have to say bout that is, gee, too bad. But, people, listen: WE ARE GETTING OUT OF IRAQ!!!! After six deplorable years, we are getting out --- who cares about a dead pop star?
Well, obviously, I'm stupid for asking that question.
I read the other day that our country spent $100 million dollars to investigate President Clinton's blow job, and only $14 million to investigate how a small group of uneducated terrorists managed to hijack 4 airplanes, destroy billions of dollars worth of property and kill 3000 people. That's how our priorities work. Stupidity has become our national mindset. How's that for stupid?
Thanks for reading.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Cape Ann Museum exhibits photographs of St. Peter’s Fiesta
A small selection of photographs by Philip Reisman (1904-1993) is currently on view at the Cape Ann Museum. The photographs of St. Peter’s Fiesta are part of the Museum’s collection of approximately 450 color slides by Reisman from the 1950s. The photographs are on view through the end of August.
St. Peter’s Fiesta -- or, more properly, Fiesta di San Pietro -- honors the patron saint of fishermen and it is the largest, most colorful of the new celebrations which Sicilian immigrants brought to Gloucester. It began in the late 1920s as a neighborhood novena and expanded to a city-wide event in the 1930s.
Philip Reisman (1904-1993) was known as a Social Realist painter. He was also a printmaker, illustrator and amateur photographer. Born in Warsaw, Poland, his family fled to the United States to escape the pogroms when he was four years old. He lived in New York where he studied at the Art Students League and privately under Harry Wickey.
His early works were depictions of the ordinary working people of New York’s Lower East Side. During the depression he worked on WPA murals for Bellevue Hospital.
In the spring of 1944 he was persuaded by his friend Sol Wilson to escape the city and spend the summer in Rockport. Reisman, however, found the gritty working waterfront of Gloucester more to his artistic taste. He became fascinated with the fishing industry spending hours sketching, painting and later photographing the waterfront and the people who lived and worked there.
His artwork is in the permanent collections of many galleries and museums and has also been exhibited at the Philadelphia Academy of Fine Arts, Museum of Modern Art, National Print Exhibition and the National Academy of Design.
The Museum has a collection of 28 of his drawings, oil paintings and watercolors in addition to approximately 450 of his color slides from the early 1950s. The Museum presented an exhibition of his art work titled Men and Machine in the summer of 1985.
Funding for this program was made possible through a grant from the Massachusetts Cultural Council, which promotes excellence, access, education and diversity in the arts, humanities and interpretive sciences, in order to improve the quality of life for all Massachusetts residents and to contribute to the economic vitality of our communities.
The Cape Ann Museum is located at 27 Pleasant Street in Gloucester. Hours are Tuesday through Saturday from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., and Sundays from 1:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. The Museum is closed during the month of February, on Mondays, and on major holidays. Admission is $8.00 adults, $6.00 Cape Ann residents, seniors and students. Children under 12 and Museum members are free. The Museum is wheelchair accessible. For more information please call: (978) 283-0455. Additional information can be found online at www.capeannmuseum.org



















